How to stop feeling lonely


Nowadays, in our time of developing digital technologies there appeared many new ways to stay in touch. For telling some news we need only several seconds and a recipient will the get the information immediately. The quantity of our acquainted people is increasing with the extremely high speed due to Internet. We know so many people that we barely have enough time for talking with all of them. Are really that countless acquaintances full of sense and sincerity? Do we really must talk with that entire people that we barely know and to pretend unconsciously that we are close friends? The issue can be in that we usually act like this but never notice it. We send messages without distinction asking barely known people how they are and what they do. But the thing is that we do not mean it. We just waste words trying to prove ourselves that we are needed and that a lot of people care about us. But it’s just illusion which we create to make ourselves feel better. And in the moment when it occurs to us that this is just a self-deception, we start getting into the deep depression. We begin realizing that we have been lying to ourselves all this time and just making frustrate tries to stop feeling lonely. But we failed. And this fact makes us feel even more miserable than we used to.

This rusting feeling leads us into the general hollowness where it is totally impossible to find a way from. It fully mires us and ribbons our soul. But in fact, the feeling lonely feeds itself and it starts being worse. So a basic to way to stop feeling lonely is the declining being lonely. It sounds strange but these are ways which can help to do that:

Find something positive in loneliness

Loneliness is a good chance to stay with yourself in private, to think about what is really bothering and to try to understand what have become primary reasons of such condition. Pity yourself, tell yourself compliments, begin to love yourself finally. Because if you do not love yourself, nobody will. But if you start appreciating yourself, you will attract people like a magnet because similar attracts similar. Feeling lonely is a sign from your organism that it’s time to pay attention to yourself. Your personality requires empathy and encouragement. Loneliness is a perfect opportunity to leave that meaningless rush and to dedicate time to yourself. Do what you would never do in public: walk along the house wearing only underwear or even naked, eat with your hands and sing out load despite you cannot sing properly. And soon you will begin to enjoy loneliness, and when it’s gone you may even start missing that feeling.

Let acceptance in

You are not almighty and you can’t change all circumstances, you can’t change people and you also can’t change the world. Keep calm, become the calm, you are where you are. Try to accept close people as they are regardless your opinion that something may be wrong with them. Try not to expect something from them but let them be real but not your interpreted illusion. Because when close people seem no to correspond expectations the disappointment’s appearing. Then feeling of loneliness replaces disappointment. And the thing is that it’s not their fault they don’t correspond your expectations, but your guilt is in effort of enduing them what they don’t actually have. Don’t judge anybody and especially, don’t judge yourself. Besides, they don’t owe you anything despite you may have given them something. They are like they are – not bad, not good but just real. The same is with everything: facts, circumstances etc.

Don’t compare your life to someone else’s life.

It doesn’t matter who’s got what and how much someone else has achieved. It doesn’t even matter what used to be. As German writer Eckhart Tolle said: “Feel the power of Now”. Forget about others, you have your own way which is unique and only one. Looking at other lives we always forget that the most of us carry social masks and what we see often turns out to be only an external shell covered with artificial additions. Many people tend to hide their weaknesses and flaws and try to show everybody only their virtues which, by the way, often are unreal. Don’t count how much you gave and how much you get back. A balance rules in the world. So if you really gave more than you took it means that you’re only going to obtain what belongs to you. And remember: the more you give the more you get.

Fulfill your live with a meaning

A person who has a goal. who has a sense of life and follows it cannot be lonely. Even if this person is alone in his striving and can count only on himself or herself loneliness can’t defeat a purposeful heart. There is just the lack of time for such person for feeling lonely. According to the book “Man’s search of meaning” by Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist and writer Viktor Frankl, a man can survive only if he has a meaning, a sense of life. And a scientist knew what he was saying, during the Second World War he spent half of a year in concentration camps including Auschwitz.

Your life sense can become literally whatever: a new expensive buy, starting your own business, getting a new job or even finding real love (which you can do, by the way, using online dating service It doesn’t really matter what it will be. What really matters is rather if you are going to continue suffering because of your feeling of loneliness or you will take your life in your own arms. We are responsible for our life but not those people who have left us in a difficult situation or were not nearby when they were so needed. Don’t blame people for what they’ve done unconsciously, but find your own meaning to continue going along the way even along, not lonely. In the moment when you realize that you can manage everything by yourself, the others will come to admire you and to support you. They all would like to become a part of the example of braveness, courage and success. So some time you will be surprised how many people surround you and how many of them need your help and a wise advice.

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