Life sometimes challenges us in ways that seem unfair or too painful to bear. Physical pain is much easier to deal with because we all instinctively know what to do. A bloody nose or a broken bone can be cleaned and patched up by seeking prompt medical assistance.
But it’s a totally different ballgame when you have to watch your friend or a family member suffer emotional pain. Unlike physical pain, where it’s all about procedures, emotional pain requires a certain level of tact that most people struggle to attain.
Maybe they have gone through some emotional trauma, and like most people, have resorted to drowning their sorrows in drugs or alcohol. At first, it may seem like its helping them cope, but soon enough, it turns into an addiction. Unresolved emotional pain is unhealthy, and when coupled with substance abuse, can ruin lives. So how do you help someone who is in emotional pain?
Here are 5 simple strategies that we all need to learn:
Listen to their needs
You have to fight the temptation to rush in and try to be the superhero. Instead of making assumptions, ask them what they need and truly listen to what they are saying. If they need to talk, hear them out. If they don’t want to talk about the issue, then don’t force them. Maybe they just need your company and nothing else. But always ask and listen.
Refer them to a professional counselor
If your friend or family member is using drugs or alcohol as a coping mechanism, then the best option is to get them professional help. If they ask you for advice, recommend a recovery center that will help them deal with the emotional pain that triggered the substance abuse. There are some affordable rehab programs available, and ideally, you should look for more than just a facility that offers outpatient or standard residential programs. Recommend a facility that provides personalized residential programs. They are cost effective and have a higher success rate.
Practice empathy
Instead of offering unsolicited feedback, only give advice when they ask you for it. We have a habit of providing quick and easy answers, yet the person who is hurting is simply looking for empathy. Unsolicited advice only makes them feel worse.
Allow them to grieve
If you want them to heal, then sometimes it’s best to let them go through the grieving process. By allowing them to express their emotional pain, you are helping them eliminate all the toxic feelings that are overwhelming them. This is no time to blame them or compare their situation to somebody else’s.
Offer them real help
There is help and then there is real help. Asking them “What can I do to help?” may seem helpful, but it only overwhelms and confuses the person in emotional pain. The best thing to do is to offer to do something for them, for example, “Let me bring over some lunch. You can eat it whenever you are ready.”
Emotional pain and healing has no clear-cut solutions. Be present and empathetic, listen to their needs, and offer genuine help. If addiction is a factor, then professional treatment may be the best solution.
